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SPECULATIVE HIGHLIGHTS OF A DATE IN WHICH JACQUES TATI, AS MONSIEUR HULOT IN THE FRENCH COMIC MASTERPIECE “MON ONCLE,” DINES WITH CHRISTINA AMPHLETT OF THE DIVINYLS, AS SHE APPEARED IN THE VIDEO FOR “I TOUCH MYSELF”
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7:29
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TATI is standing perfectly still on a sidewalk
as hundreds of bicyclists swarm past him.
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7:33
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Limousine pulls up, motorized door opens, TATI
stares in faint disbelief. AMPHLETT stretches,
leonine, across the seat in a black dress, rolls over, gazes up from beneath
auburn bangs.
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7:49
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Arrival at restaurant. AMPHLETT slinks out
of limousine, grabs crotch.
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8:19
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Food arrives. AMPHLETT touches the sauce on
her plate, pivots on her chair, leans back, sucks on her fingers.
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8:22
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Waiter offers fresh pepper, TATI nods. He stares
in disbelief at the motorized grinder.
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8:45
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AMPHLETT returns from restroom wearing leather
bustier. She licks her lips seductively, spins her chair around, straddles
it backwards.
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9:23
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TATI, paying the bill, spends thirteen minutes
negotiating the keypad of the debit-card machine.
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10:22
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AMPHLETT pouts, blows her bangs out of her
eyes, nestles into the naked chest of the reclining TATI,
who smokes a Gitane.
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