1

Wake up, disoriented. Have somehow in the past eight hours rotated 180 degrees in the bed. The phone rings in the other room. Five rings.

2

Shave: start at right sideburn, finish under left jawbone.

3

Everything that was funny from the day before always shows up while showering. Scrub, laugh. Rinse, laugh. Towel dry. Ha ha ha. Brush, spit, comb.

4

Dress simply and comfortably. No sweats, denim or fleece. Sometimes wearing the same socks from the day before feels like a wicked pleasure.

5

Check email. Delete. Delete. Resist invitations to come see hot young lesbian pussy. Delete. Wince. Flag. Reply tersely.

6

Trod well-worn path to diner. Consume cups of Bunn-o-matic coffee and French toast with bacon. Scowl at newspaper. Ace crossword. Tip well.

7

Walk to postbox rental facility. Avoid eye contact with proprietor. Every time I ask myself, does he think I’m hostile or shy? Look in vain for cheques in postbox. Flip through newly arrived stock photography catalogues for inevitable gratuitous nude in the ‘health and beauty’ lifestyle section, then throw in nearby trashbin.

8

Swarmed on the street by protesting members of the BC Nurses Federation, singing “Where Have All the Nurses Gone.” Attempt to answer with, “You’re all right here,” but am drowned out.

9

To work. Double-click essay for writers magazine, which is overdue and still in ‘outline’ mode. Spend ten minutes idly exploding and collapsing lists of points relevant to the main theme. The theme is editorial design for self publishers. Close document. Need to spend time away from it.

10

Attempt in vain to make SSH2 Telnet connection to server. Resort to using ftp program to chmod dirs.

11

Perform rendition of “Dancing Queen” at top volume with fast-pick’n bluegrass guitar accompaniment while computer restarts. Play opening bars of Badly Drawn Boy song eighteen times. The one from the Gap commercial.

12

Switch from CBC to NPR. Drink one litre of water, standing up. Check phone messages. Wince.

13

Switch from NPR to MP3. Rewrite browser detection script. Return phone calls.

14

Look at kitchen. Decide it’s better to buy prepared food elsewhere than, say, open a can of tuna. Walk to total lifestyle grocery to purchase salad containing organic things in vinaigrette and a cake made of salmon. Seeing that the line with the disliked cashier (asked me once to pick up my purchases and go to another line when a friend of hers came by) is open, the line with the sort of liked cashier (I complimented her haircut once, and now we feel uneasily obligated to banter) is open, and the line with the much liked cashier (she flirts and laughs at my jokes and looks a bit like Louise Brooks) is busy, I cool my heels in the dairy section. Astonished to discover the availability of fresh yeast in bulk.

15

Write three pointlessly long letters.

16

Write three pages of notes for Friday’s lecture. These notes will be lost between now and Friday.

17

Watch downloaded bootleg DVD of State and Main, to much merriment, despite having to watch it on a laptop wedged between knees and gut.

18

Another attempt at reading Teach Yourself PHP4 in 24 Hours. Stop once stomach ache of bafflement sets in. Can’t crack this object/class bullshit.

19

Bad television, fast food, vodka, pornography, more Abba renditions, tense phone conversation, Napster.

20

Sleep.