Jan 4

01

WARNING

* * *

Smoking is hazardous to your health. So is leaving a sharpened stick in the silty bed of a jumping pond, taking a leak on the hubcaps of a police car idling at an intersection, phoning the neighbour to say why don’t you put that goddam howling cat in a burlap sack and throw it off a bridge, reading tcp/ip manuals with a hangover, eating things made for cars, lying naked across the glass plate of a photocopier without proper grounding, harboring a secret ambition to perform in musical theatre, softening shoe leather with naphtha and dynamite, singing the Internationale at a Rotary Club luncheon, greeting men by squeezing their goolies, drinking coffee from the bottom of the cup on up, leaving old chewed bones as a gift for the postman, dancing to unlicensed music, running through stock exchanges shouting I am Liberace!, playing folk-rock renditions of disco hits, watching television with vinegar in your eyes, flying low over an archipelago, revising the party line, amending atlases, boiling water for tea when there is no tea, checking the clock every minute, drying your tongue after a shower, standing before celebrated artists without a cruel word, having sex with your imaginary friend, and so is not getting it all done on time.