*

Sign: “Bikini Blowout.”

*

The street and sidewalk are teeming. As he steps off the curb, a Range Rover, whose driver is on the phone, comes to a screeching halt, narrowly missing him. He smiles, makes an upside-down OK sign, moves his hand in a circle. Passersby begin to slow. The window motors down halfway. He screams “everyone hates you” seven times.

*

Sign: “Enjoy Our Orange Cappuccino.”

*

They had sex last night. Probably this morning, too.

*

She figures it out: everyone looks at her with the same contempt with which she looks at them. No wonder this is uncomfortable.

*

What mountains did you have to climb, what oceans did you cross, what jungle did you penetrate, sir, to acquire that haircut?

*

What is she writing, in that tiny, cramped hand.

*

You were first. No go ahead. No you were first.

*

Not just a car, a dining room.